In some ways I've been in Covid denial; refusing to accept the new normal and telling myself it won't last, etc. In hindsight, I've spent a lot of energy fighting what was happening. I do have a tendency to push back on things I don't like.
It feels like if I accept things I don't like then I'm not making progress on creating the life and health I want. Whether it's a part of my body that hurts (I have Lyme disease), an emotion I don't want to have, a situation I don't want to be in. That, of course, can be a good thing - the unwillingness to accept things that aren't ideal.
If it's a conscious decision, that's one thing. But when I don't realize that I'm fighting against something then I just feel stuck, trapped, rigid and it makes the situation worse.
That's probably why I'm so drawn to yoga, I need it to slow me down, make me aware of my body and mind and…I could use more acceptance and compassion. Meditation is great for this too but my meditation practice is sporadic at best.
It's interesting how this all shows up in my art. Since realizing all this recently and working on accepting that Covid is not going away anytime soon and will continue to disrupt our plans and lives for the foreseeable future - my art has loosened up. You can see this in my new painting below "Summer's Light." I've taken some pressure off myself, filmed a new class that is loose and playful. In general, I've decided that I'm going to just deal with what is, as my 93-year old father-in-law used to say just about every time I talked to him and about all kinds of subjects, "It is what it is."
